So last night I began and had almost completed another cynical post. Apparently blogspot doesn't like such posts, and crashed my server.
After having deleted one myself, and the provider deleting what I have written once, this third time it will probably work.
I don't feel so secure of myself, my role nor my abilities. It happens around exam time. I had a friend over for the last few days, the girl I will be living with next year. She is Russian but has lived in Lithuania for most of her life. We did a lot of walking, studying, chatting and cooking, beside watching some films in Spanish language. In a few days time yet another friend will come up to the sometimes sunny highlands. Believe me, as of recently it has been warm and sunny. There are daffodils everywhere and the deciduous tree are beginning to turn green, there are pink and white blossoms in just about every park and garden.
I'm currently reading a rather disturbing book, 'let the right on in' by the Swedish author John Ajvide Lindqvist. Whilst normally I tend to watch the film after the book, this unusual book was introduced to be by the Swedish film. It was a somewhat art house production, they massively tamed down some of the more gory scenes in favour of a more artistic feel. The book itself is very readable, I have been reading it on my recently acquired kindle for the past few nights. The more I read, the more difficult it is to not believe that the author is a psycho, or sympathises with psychos, or is projecting his own character onto the protagonist, Oskar. Oskar is a young boy deeply affected by his almost daily experiences of being bullied at school, he dreams of revenge and collects sadistically newspaper cuttings, detailing horrific murders. Ultimately, it's a grotesque vampire story though there is something which feels fresh about the story. I shan't give anything away, but I can say the author takes time to write of some of the foulest type of things that go on in the world amongst humans, things which we often like to pretend don't happen. Read it, then watch the film, but please don't watch the American remake. I started and quickly discontinued.
I am so overtly ready for the summer. My mind is restless yet tired of absorbing facts, which it knows will quickly fade or vanish completely. The next post you will see here will be an attempt to use all the vocab from the semester which I can remember in sentences. Why can't I do this in my own private note book? Because I want this to be a blog of progression. I want to see how stupid I am now from a hopefully more intelligent perspective in three years time.
Tomorrow I will start studying Netherlandish art.... Well, revising it.
I will no doubt walk up the mountain and sit transfixed by the river, staring at it whilst kidding myself that I am thinking, when I am infact completely blank and without thoughts.